Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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