I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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