so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize