everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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