I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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