I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
