i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
