I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
