it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
