I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
