your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
