found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
