if i can run in heels then i can drive
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
