playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
