I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
