And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
