if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
My dick has a subreddit
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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