Already got asked if we're dating
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
