Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
