your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize