I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
