I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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