why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
