Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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