I wish i was in the wii world.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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