He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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