At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
