How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
