wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
