ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
