Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
