So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize