I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
