and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
