Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
