I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
