He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
then he tried to convert me to islam
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
