Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize