what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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