The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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