A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
