You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
