bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
