god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize