it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize