i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
