So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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