And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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