Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
