I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
