We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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