Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
