I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
