forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
