Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
