Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
