I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
