OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
