1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
