elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize