it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
