i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i think my cat just said my name.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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