I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
