i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
