Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize