also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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