he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
