How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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