Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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