Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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