it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
