Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
