she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
