Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize