I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize