I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize