Do you still have your period?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
