So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
