I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize