you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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