My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
