he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
