He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
