In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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